IC Inbox - Empatheias

[luckyhood]

 (If you need to contact Naegi through crystal messages, messenger bird, or action, this is where you can do it. Feel free to say hi!)

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[hopedout]

[ He's waiting for the reaction and soon enough, he manages to get it. He honestly isn't the type to mess with other people, but this time he honestly can't help himself, especially since the reaction was almost priceless enough for him to make a derisive snort. ]

Sorry, Naegi... [ Except no, he's not exactly sorry. ] But I'm not wrong, am I?

[ Although he wants to make this a bit more entertaining for himself so takes a few steps closer to the smaller lucky student, close enough so that his warm breath can be felt as he clears his throat. ]

You want to hear things like "I love you, Naegi-kun." or "Let's get married, Makoto." don't you? [ And yes, he's doing a perfect impersonation of Kirigiri's voice. Someone please kill him. ]

[luckyhood]

I-I- I-!

[Oh, oh, his face feels like it's on fire. His body feels like it's burning up from the inside and his mouth is just burning. He squeezes his eyes shut because he's so embarrassed from the words and the feeling of Hinata's breath on his neck, he doesn't think he can keep looking at him without passing out.]

A-ah, that's... Y-you aren't wrong at all, but- Wait no, I didn't mean to say that-

[He's dying. Naegi must be dying, because this is... This is too much...!]

She- Kirigiri-san would never say anything like that anyway-!

[Oh.

Oh.

That's... That actually hurts, doesn't it? It's a blow he hadn't been expecting, right to his heart, and maybe if he's lucky Hinata won't see how his eyes have gotten watery when they fly open.]

I... I didn't mean that. Any of that, I didn't mean to... S-sorry, I'm sorry, please forget about it...

[hopedout]

No, it's... my fault for messing around a bit. [ Hinata got bored and you don't like Hinata when he's bored. ] But I don't think Kirigiri wouldn't say that she likes you.

[luckyhood]

I-it's fine. I don't mind, really...

[...Maybe he minds a little. But he isn't angry at Hinata, it's not his fault that Naegi is just... overreacting...]

She... would never think of me that way, though, or say things like that... After all, I'm just Kirigiri-san's friend and her classmate. Nothing more and nothing less.

[Even if I wanted to be more, hangs unspoken in the air. Naegi tries to be careful and not let that slip through his crystal, but some of the feelings might leak out, if Hinata is perceptive enough to catch them.]

[hopedout]

No, that's wrong.

[ Of course Hinata catches that, and he immediately goes with his usual SORE WA CHIGAU ZO although his voice is calmer than it usually would be with that phrase. ]

Do you honestly think that she wouldn't without even giving her the chance to tell you one way or the other, Naegi? Don't be presumptuous.

[luckyhood]

I-I...

[Naegi closes his eyes and takes a moment, and not just because he's hearing the words he says so often being mirrored back to him. When he opens his eyes again and speaks, Naegi's voice is strained and barely above a whisper.]

...You're right, probably. And it really isn't fair, if I don't even give Kirigiri-san a chance to say what I don't want to hear. But... [He swallows, hard.] Isn't it also presumptuous for me to hope she'll say the things I want her to say?

[And again, Naegi leaves things unspoken in the air. But it's too hard to speak out the desires of his heart, especially when he already feels so exposed and vulnerable from the whole conversation.]

[hopedout]

It may be presumptuous. It's not bad, though, Naegi. After all, the heart wants what it wants, right? Just... be honest with yourself. Not being honest is what caused me to get into a lot of trouble.

[luckyhood]

[...Honest with himself, huh?

That's been part of the problem the whole time, hasn't it?

He's been scared of losing what he has with Kirigiri now, so scared of the rejection... But there's really no secret here, about his feelings. Not if he's going to be completely honest about all of this.]

There... isn't really any point in trying to hide anything anymore, is there? [He looks down, smiling softly.] I've cared about Kirigiri-san for a long time. Maybe even during the time I don't have memory of anymore, although I guess I'll never be certain. I know things can't go on like this forever, but... But...!

[Naegi shuts his eyes tight. He's quiet for a very long moment. When he finally opens his eyes again, he looks up at Hinata hesitantly.]

...If you don't mind, can I ask about that time you weren't honest with yourself, Hinata-kun? What... happened when you weren't?

sdr2 spoilers

[hopedout]

You're really easy to see through, Naegi.

[ Hinata can't help but laugh a little bit, but he's saying it in a more positive light rather than a negative one. ]

Nagito and I, we fought a lot. I didn't know what I should feel about him because he... He did so many horrible things to us, back at the island. But I was cruel to him, too. When we were here, I was hurt. He was so different, but the memories of what he tried to do to us was too fresh. [ He shakes his head, his eyes turning its usual green, doing away with his Kamukura half. ] I don't know how much you heard from him about that, though... But I found it hard to forgive him for what he did. I couldn't.

sdr2 spoilers

[luckyhood]

[There's a little bit of warmth in his chest from Hinata's laugh, but the feeling fades from Naegi's chest at what he says and the way his eyes change. It still isn't easy to think about the conversation he had with Komaeda back then.]

He didn't tell me everything, but... Probably enough, or at least enough for me to understand why it would be hard for you to forgive him. [His voice drops into something softer.] He told me about what happened to Nanami-san. About what he had done to himself, and about her... her death in the Program.

[It still feels raw, thinking about it for too long, so he doesn't linger on it. That's... too much right now.]

You... reconciled with Komaeda-senpai during your time here, though? Or I'd assume so, since the two of you are a couple now.

sdr2 + dr3 spoilers now

[hopedout]

... I cared about Nanami, and he knew that. I couldn't tell that I had feelings for her initially, back then.

[ He still remembers her death. No, both of their deaths. It's something that he holds onto close to his chest. ]

I did, though.

just a bit of sdr2 spoilers in this one

[luckyhood]

You're... a strong person, Hinata-kun. For being able to look past it enough to love him, even after all of that.

[He has to smile a little, even if it's sad.] Even if he's done wrong, though... Komaeda-senpai is a good person. I'm happy for the two of you.

...I'm sorry, though. [Naegi drops his gaze.] Compared to what the two of you have been through, my problems feel really inconsequential. I've... probably been making a bigger deal out of this than I should have.

[hopedout]

... I'm both strong and weak. That's why I'm able to look past that.

[ He has both Kamukura and Hinata in him, is what he's saying. ] You don't have to apologize, Naegi. It's fine. It just means that much to you, in the end. Don't you think?